What am I, now you're not here?

To think, that I,
just take a thought,
Hang on it,
some sense of sport,
Drives that outweigh,
All I feel,
Considerations,
of what's real,
And realise,
You're no longer here,
That I have been,
Possessed by fear,
Now I'm alone,
Self-made & free,
What am I now,
Supposed to be?