I was just playing a game with my daughter & one of her dolls just now when I began making ventriloquist, fart-noises and moving the doll visually as if she was straining to expel the illicit fumes. My daughter found this very amusing.
I fell in love first with a little panda I named Tom. We grew up together and I cuddled Tom at night in bed. This went on for many years until the stuffing began to start coming out of Tom's face. I never saw anything the same way, after that experience.
Then some helpful, old person mentioned they'd once seen a cuddly toy that had maggots living it. I hid Tom in a drawer after that.
Elderly people, like my grandparents were always excellent at conveying, in this way, everything a young child needs. They told me about a woman who'd been accidentally stabbed in the face with an ink fountain pen and had got blood poisoning as the blue ink spread throughout the rest of her face until nobody could bear anymore to look at her. She wandered about the public park scaring children. I kept a constant eye out for her after that.
I also was told about a woman whose nose began to rot away one day until there was nothing but a huge hole in the middle of her face. She wasn't too attractive to look at, either. I wanted to know if snot still came out of the hole after her nose fell off, but I don't recall getting a straight answer eitherway.
Then there was the woman who went to Africa and contracted a huge swelling in her cheek which grew and grew until one night she awoke screaming as the boil exploded and she was covered in baby spiders.
My Grandfather spent many long mealtimes telling my sister and me all these stories. I never liked him much, or his stories.
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