I've always known who was whom and what was what and only appreciate your indulgence whilst I worked covertly to convince you all otherwise...
I went back to work today. There's a new girl in my office; quite pleasant, actually. Seems related to somebody internally but seems to want to keep that quiet and gain Everybody's respect & compliance the hard way - by working...
Thus are the young generation. Old enough to be her dad, I try to guide and help best I can, remembering how shit my induction to this fine organisation was all those years ago.
Friends of gonzo will recall my foray with a transsexual administrator many moons ago? When I get lucid again, I'll dig that one out. I think I changed the whole biological sex of the character when I wrote her up... Or she was a bit and wanted to be a girl... I don't quite recall.
Well, it gives me great pleasure to reward you long term fans of the gonzolecture by revealing to you that name of my former administrator and muse was Liza Munelli - her real name.
Well if Liza were in nature she'd have been the most beautiful giraffe. So beautiful. Perfect features, long eyelashes, even longer legs, an ass you could happily sink your teeth into for a while weekend... Etc.
I loved her. All men loved her. Actually, Liza was very much like Ginger in Madmen ;every man's dream, yet never seeming to find her own...
I called her one day, lost, depressed & distraught at another meaningless admin task that's been handed to me without proper explanation or training. She came over to my office and sat shotgun on my desk whilst in 45 minutes we did this thing I never understood the reason for and was changed the following year to a completely different system I never found out about... The new system's always introduced because enough decent people managed to Fuck it up the previous year... What can you do?...
So here we are :Liza left to go discover herself in Australia for a year, we lost the best thing that ever happened to us and she was replaced by, well we can only say an "inferior article" which I won't go into, right now...
Well now we see the universal balance restored with my new colleague with whom I share a room... Well theoretically I do but as I'm only there when I'm teaching and when I'm teaching I don't need an office so really I'm never really in there. And anyway nobody ever built effective relationships with learners from inside an office. I never got any meaningful academic work done in an office. My pc's shit - I haven't been able to save a Microsoft office document for the last 2 months - I haven't needed to add luck would have it anyway...
So I'm messing around for fucking hours doing this handbook or whatever and in the end I can't save it... So I go apeshit at the boy in the IT turret who says "I'll have a look in your puter now Prof Gonzo.." he then comes back with "prof :can't find you sir...are you on campus cos if u ain't then I can't look inside ur puter,"
We must send him a red hat and some speedos...
Well 2 months later - today - I walk back onto the damn campus cos I gotta do a contract thingy by being around for a few days presence - not quite sure why... I've been doing it faithfully now for years and can't work much out for this tedious duty's rationale... Might really be to "Be Around Case Shit Goes Down" (BACSGD) or just a funding or hasaw thing (health and safety at work)... There's much being laid at that bizarre door for, of late...
Anyway... Must press on...
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