There's got to be a way to reconcile our "selves."
The "idealised" self, or who we want to be, is our goal.
The "regulated" self, is who society, and its "spin-offs" demand we be.
The "actual" self is who we perceive ourselves to be.
It is the gaps, or voids between these three that cause us cognitive dissonance - psychological discomfort - sometimes so strong that we're unable to live with our "selves" as we are. Thus we implement change in order to close the gaps.
For such change to take place, we need to know where the gaps are, and the way to close them.
What's bothering you today?
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5 comments:
Christ! You read my mind. What’s bothering me today prof is why I’m doing this. I don’t belong on planet Gonzo – this should be a forum for your students. What are they students of? Do they know themselves? Could you enlighten me perhaps on how they take your knowledge into the wider world and put it to good use. The idea of someone who can teach, loose cannon maverickism, eccentricity, non-conformist free thinking, I don’t belong in any fuckers system, rather appeals to me. As one who is no longer part of the great game anymore I find I can stick two fingers up to almost anyone I please including people who used to terrify me. It’s a great feeling.
That is SO cool, dude. Thanks a lot.
I can safely say I'm now my true self after years of being trampled on, humbled,and downtrodden.(Interspersed with periods of drunken defiance and escapism) - a coward for the cause of paying back the mortgage and supporting a family.The job had me by the balls because I had nothing else to offer, not even ambition.I joined because I was an academic failure with an undeveloped brain.Our individual metabolism is different.I happened to be a late developer. Very very late. This is the great lesson for us all. We shouldn't yearn for retirement and only find contentment when the best years have gone. Education, education, education is damn right.No matter how long it takes.Quote me if you like as an example for your young renegades of how not to enter life.Unprepared!
Well, fuck-me, dude. You certainly seem to be on a roll today. Thanks again.
My "idealised" self: I'm a published writer who lives and works in Japan.
My "regulated" self: I'm a newly qualified journalist or an unemployed scumbag depending on who you ask.
My "actual" self: Fucked if I know...
I'm 35. My Dad had two kids by the time he was my age, and I remember how old I thought he was at the time, and I don't feel THAT old.
I always wanted to be a writer. I've just qualified as a journalist (which means shit all, I just needed a grown-up pair of pants for my writing). I put myself at serious risk of homelessness and bankruptcy to ensure that I got work experience at an international magazine.
Now that's done, I'm scrabbling around for work and trying to decide what to do next. Despite not wanting to be a slave all my fucking life, I still need to do 'something.'
After the experience of getting the shitty end of the stick (as we say in England), I want more than ever to 'use my powers for good' — I'd much rather work for a charity or human rights organisation such as Amnesty International than doing the same job for a glossy magazine.
'NCTJ-qualified journalist, copywriter and subeditor' sounds better than 'unemployed writer' but amounts to the same thing.
I do voluntary work on the magazine at an unemployed / homeless centre. I also eat there because I've got no money.
When I go to the centre, I feel like a fraud. When I go to some wanky journalist networking event, I feel like a fraud. I was dressed exactly the same. When I put pen to paper, I feel like a fraud. When I put on a business suit and did the work experience as a subeditor at a magazine in London, I still felt like a fraud. Just a fraud who ate sushi.
Who am I? I don't know. I feel like I missed the meeting where it was decided that my life would turn to shit.
... Sorry, wrong meeting :D
Great blog by the way. Keep going!
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