Normal

A world designed by "normal"
Ain't a place where I can live.
There's check out always waiting,
I just stay here now to give,
But won't wait here masticating,
For the rest to start & live.

Instead of being now all "formal"
Ain't a place where I can see.
There's places out there waiting,
To escape myself to be,
I need to stay placating,
For the rest to come and see.

Instead of coming on all lairy,
Like I know I've always been,
There's a new, better way unfolding,
I just feel the urge to share,
Like I warped into some uberfairy,
Here to help you with your cares.

The world that's always changing,
Ain't a place where I can grow,
I know there's no resting places,
Forgotten streets I wanna go,
But empty people with no faces,
Gather staring just for show.

Meaning that we're meant to find,
In the darkness of their eyes,
Beyond the vanity of our mind,
To this fearsome Kingdom of the flies.
All feeding on this fat pig's fat rind,
Until it's porky, piggy, fatty body dies.

They program cyborgs all the same way,
All with identical arrays of instincts,
We all behave the same night & day,
To Skype, to hype, to rise and stink,
That's why all day we act okay,
When really we need another drink.

The Growing Blingford Idiocracy

As someone with a household that has 6 degrees, and no kids, I'm beginning to evaluate our future presence in the gene pool. Unfortunately, though there are three brothers on my wife's side and they seem to be popping out sproglets by the annual batch, there's still no result on our side. I have a male-cousin who shares my family name. Aside from us there's nobody left to carry it on after we've been gone.

It amuses me when people I usually barely know bumble up with insensitive comments and unrequested advicebites such as "you should have kids, there's nothing like it, there's no higher purpose to life, etc." Usually these ignoramuses are in there first year, starting out with their first bundle of joy. I grin silently at the thought of their situation never being as good as it is now. A few more years of having puke in their hair, then the ballet lessons and the general, inevitable moral and behavioural downturn as they focus on their mistakes rather than their virtues and all their attempts to not be anything like their parents crumbles until finally, they realise the awful truth. They are the product of their parents. It's in their genes. That's why, despite their best efforts, they end up just like them.

I might be sounding horribly generalised, I know. Or maybe just horrible?

Anyhow, this brings me to the general strategies I've used to fend off these unwarranted, invasive assaults by the baby-lover league. You can take a number of successful routes when confronted with a dewy-eyed, idealistic parent. You can say, "I love kids..." smile warmly, and then follow coldly with, "...but I couldn't eat a whole one." Watch them wince. Another approach: "I'd love to have kids, but I'm a Jaffa." Also, when they ask "do you have kids?" you can answer "no..." They often at this point look searching to try to elicit further personal information. I follow with "we've had plenty of opportunity, believe me, just no result." They usually look a little uneasy as their mind starts to consider what other, embarrassing details you might be about to share.

One boss of mine once said "you should have kids." He'd just had his first and was totally besotted. I retorted "yeah, I should get on of those. Problem is, I'm still paying for my flat-screen." He reeled in disgust. "You can't just get a child!" he reacted. "It takes a lot of love to bring one forth!" He hadn't paused to consider how ridiculous he sounded, so I laid off him a little. All I was able to say (as he was my boss) was "really?"

That brings me to my point. What is the common denominator in our society today? What's the thing in life we all understand? What is it that we can pretty much all do without the need to pass exams, or go to night school, even if we are not any darn good at it?

Take my home town Blingford. What is the common denominator that makes Blingford keep running? Stephen King once wrote that there are two types of people, those who travel and those who breed. I'm a traveller. Blingford residents are unequivocally breeders. They spread, because they keep popping them out, the kids grow up, live at home until they're whatever age, get a local job, get a partner and get on with the business of life. And the beat goes on, and on. And on.

There is a good outcome for dinks (double income, no kids) folks such as my wife and me. As Blingford families spread and don't move away, the demand for housing increases. As land availability for building is limited, then house prices must rise. Basic pricing lecture over.

So, what housing downturn? Get yourself over to Blingford!

On the other hand, we come to the crux of this intellectual debate. Contrary to what my ex-boss says, bringing forth children is a physical activity, not an intellectual one. Stupidity is not only not an excludor from procreation-type activities, it is in fact an encouragor. What else is there to do apart from shopping and football?

The downside is that the smart gene pool is shrinking and the idiocracy is growing. As the barren intellectual, busy people find other avenues of activity other than biological multiplication to fill their time, and the Blingford demographic continues to take over. Don't forget to vote. You do know what voting is, don't you?

Anyway. Good luck to us all. Talk about not being able to put the genie back in the bottle...