Other times

I always think back, at moments like this, to the scene in Madmen, when the guy with the beard & the pipe has a schmoke in the office, and as a result has the best creative idea of his career, only to forget to write it down, and then to completely forget the idea, by the time Don Draper arrives.

I also love the way Draper immediately sympathises, saying he hates the times that same thing has happened to him.

The dreadful setup of the blogger app has plagued me with several crucial instances, in which I've found myself doing the self same thing - pouring out my heart, upon the page, only to change apps & to return to find no trace of the golden work.

The interaction, of late, is between the hardware - my #Samsung #s4 - always - the main faithful piece of equipment since the worldwide letdown of the whole world by Blackberry following their overselling of the replacement Bold handset, which was simply unable to take the beating from my thumbs.

When the #Blackberry network collapsed one week, I desperately defected to android - with the help & influence of the one known as Barticus, who'd recently acquired his own S4.

Another, old friend from New Zealand introduced me to the all new technological concept of swyping, not typing, and my life & writing changed forever, once again.

I stayed with my S4, because it was not only fit for purpose, but also permitted me to remove my own battery in order to fight inevitable, lithium degradation.

Everytime the charge starts to fail, I just send off again for a couple of new batteries & all's right with the world. And, so, the flow just keeps on.

Engaged...

Following my recent return to my search for meaning within the practical confines of the daily life, I'll likely also be returning to the daily (hopefully) production of my thoughts in text, here and elsewhere.

The muse, and there are many, present themselves, always willing at first to stoke the artist's flame, but always with the motive to make something according to their own design, with themselves at the centre.

My conflict is between my life & theirs & this inextricable domination that sets in, always attempting, sometimes unknowingly, to inject their sentiments & song into the work.

Only M encourages, never imposes.

The struggle of the artist & writer is lonely, with some admirers, for which I'll always be grateful. Gone now are the commercial quid-pro-quoers, who traded shoutouts-for-shoutouts, never equally, mostly resulting in me publicising shit, just to get my voice heard above the din of sub-standard, indie crap. Even if I'm unheard, and unheard of, by the time those curtains to the furnace part, it'll have been worth it, just to have kept my creative integrity.

If the basis of the creative relationship in which one finds oneself, is brutal, open truth & honesty, then that is the deal, forever. The problem with some, is that it's their strategy to reposition the goalposts. They always change, whereas I never do - not intrinsically, or essentially.

I will go on. I have to. After spending many, repressed years of literally hiding my true self, only to be continually forsaken, by those who claimed to love me, but who didn't get back from me what they wanted, or felt they deserved, I'm better alone.

Community Of Genius

The whole point behind this new project is that I keep walking into walking genius, scattered across my path. If course, my initial DNA deposits have contributed to this spread for the most part. However, being a fictional character in an upcoming fantasy novel takes its toll on one's psyche.

One sees the just suffer. Some I realise don't have enough to eat today. Others I see fall victim to an unjust system that seems to separate, isolate and appropriate everything we are and have to its needs and not our collective best interests. Where people can peacefully dedicate their finite life force to the blatant achievement of another man's (or huge corporation's) economic goals in return for a fair payrate so he can feed and house his family, only to find himself falling out of fashion, favour and a job at the whim of his betters.

I see the ones with money aren't always the ones with the brains and the sooner this self propagating,  materialistic, pseudo-meritocratic idiocracy is brought to its knees by our mass refusal to comply, the better.

Anyway, the new account is at @CommunityGenius if you wanna follow.

More to follow...

Dreaming

I was born knowing how to dream. The world in my head was always better than the world outside. For some reason the well meaning ones, with my best interests at heart, dedicated their time to attempting to beat the imagination out of me under the pretense that they were preparing me for the real world. I didn't rate their efforts, even as a child, preferring my art over their rules. I never close to do anything I didn't understand, but wasted much time trying to please others, and give them what I thought they wanted. This led to a personal mission towards conformity to the world - a futile, unrealistic & unachievable task -  even without the opinions of others. Realising that those who came before me meant well, but that they didn't really have any answers either as to how I managed never to be average, but always maladjusted (different).

Now here I am, and nothing's changed. The world still requires, even demands and others dedicate their lives to controlling me without success. I don't need them, or their approval. 

What about you? 

001

From now on its likely I'll just number posts rather than titles. Very Pollock. 

There's occasions when you struggle to articulate an idea and something wonderful happens. 

I mentioned to Butthole that I realised from a young age that it was useful with people to try to talk to them about what they are thinking rather than what they are talking to me about. 

Such a statement works because ironically it's something new and also it sounds and feels familiar, as if I've heard it somewhere before. We don't think we have, but do feel the liberty to correct us. 

Author Jeff Whelan [1] : Creativity & Family

"You seem very creative in your work but quite "down to earth" in your family life.  I wonder how you managed this.

          Balancing creativity and family life?  Fortunately, I've been blessed with a very creative family.  My wife makes beaded and wire jewelry, soaps, has dabbled in candlemaking and blogs about yoga.  Our 2 sons are brilliant - both have participated in summer theater camps for years, both love to write, they're wonderful artists and are now getting more serious about musical instruments (one the piano, the other the trombone).  On top of that, my wife and I are both active in our local community theater and perform in at least one production each every season.

          All that being said, bursts of inspiration and creativity are frequent around our house.  We're all avid readers and find inspiration in many places but most of all in each other.  In listening to my boys concoct their stories, I might have an idea jog loose that I can use somewhere else.  Or my wife or I might have an idea that will lend itself to their creations.

          In regard to my humorous, young adult science fiction adventure, Space Orville, though; that was finished right around the time our first son was born but I did not self-publish until December of 2011, having endured years of rejection from print publishers (whose almost unanimous opinion was that "humorous, young adult science fiction" was simply too narrow a niche to warrant print publication, i.e., they did not want to waste their precious resources on a book that would probably only be read by a handful of nerds looking for a few laughs).

          So, I suffered my mounting rejection letters like any good author - filed them away as I prepared the next query.  Then came the advent of self-publishing and, behold, there were readers!  And far more than just a handful of nerds at that.  These days, self-publishing is simply a matter of doing a little homework on formatting guidelines, taking time to follow them to the letter, then following the steps at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords or wherever for uploading your manuscript.  After that, it becomes a matter of shameless self-promotion to start finding readers for your work.  Finding the balance between that and family life has been the greatest challenge; I find myself sitting at the computer far more often and for far longer than I was ever comfortable before.  Nocturnal by nature, I am still stay up far later than I should just keeping the marketing machine rolling and find that I have too little time to do any of the substantial writing I would like to. I'm afraid a time is going to have to come soon where I hang up the marketing for a while and focus on my next work if I'm going to move beyond where I am right now.